I imagine the Biblical characters often had that same reflection. Recently as I was reading through Genesis in my own devotional time I came to the story of Abram, Sarai, and Hagar in Genesis 16 and for the first time a detail in the story stuck out to me. Verse one says, "Now Sarai, Abram's wife had borne him no children, and she had an Egyptian maid whose name was Hagar." If you know the story, God had promised Abram a son through his wife Sarai, but they were both old, advanced beyond child bearing years and they grew worried. Rather than clinging to the promises of God, their hands get fidgety and they decide to make the promise happen through their own schemes. Sarai gives Abram Hagar and tells him to take her and have a child through her. The conclusion they were making was that this must be how God meant to fulfill the promise. Abram agrees and takes Hagar and has a son through her. Literally, the Middle East has not been the same since that moment. Hagar's son Ishmael is the patriarch of the Arab nation. Sarai's soon to be born son Isaac, the patriarch of the Jewish nation. The two nations have warred for thousands of years, even to this day.
Sin has long lasting and far reaching consequences that we don't perceive in the moment. Going back to the garden, the consequences of Adam and Eve's action couldn't possibly be known or understood in that moment. For Abram, the same could be true as well. Yet, the sin began before chapter 16. Notice Hagar is said to be an Egyptian. That begs the question, when did they pick up this Egyptian servant? Going back to Genesis 12:10 we see Abram and Sarai in the Promised Land that God had given them, yet there's a problem, there is a famine. In that moment, Abram has a decision to make, trust the God who brought him to this land to provide despite the shortage or to try and fix it on his own. The text gives no indication that Abram received direction or permission to go to Egypt, instead he goes on his own. He acts not based on faith, but fear. In doing so his wife likely picked up a young Egyptian servant named Hagar. Later, when Sarai comes with this idea about taking Hagar and having a son through her, Abram is confronted with a choice, act based on faith or fear and he again chooses fear.
Sin has a way of sending our lives in a direction we don't intend. In the case of Abram, not only was the sin seen in Genesis 16, but it was built on the sinful decision to go to Egypt in Genesis 12. We see other examples of this in Scripture. David's colossal sins of adultery and murder were deeply connected and decisions that reflected fear rather than faith. In our own lives, the decisions we make to cover up or solve an issue reflect a prior sin or rejection of faith.
I take heart in knowing that despite times in which Abram displayed such faithlessness, that over and over again in the New Testament he is held up as a model of walking by faith. Abram's faith was not perfect or free of doubt, for he had many failures. It was however persistent and that should be our goal as well.
I also find Genesis to be a story too often told about the faith of a man, rather than the faithfulness of his God. Genesis is a broken story from Genesis 3 to the very end. Abraham despite moments of great faith, fails. In that brokenness and failure the God who promised to work through Abram remains constant and effectively uses him and his seed to accomplish His purpose on this world. That reminder should provide us with hope, that despite our sin, brokenness, and even the spirals that we find ourselves in, God's faithfulness remains constant and effectively works to accomplish His glory.
